Focus

I had such good intentions of blogging through this journey of cancer treatment. For me, though, I found that I needed to focus on beating this--and that took most of my energy. I know that I will be "un-packing" the many lessons God has taught me along the way for many years to come. I hope to share them in the days to come.

Since I last posted, I have completed 5 months of chemotherapy, had a lumpectomy to remove my tumor, and am halfway through 6 weeks of radiation. Overall, I have done really well through most of it, keeping a pretty normal schedule. God has been so faithful through it all, bringing a peace and strengthening my support system. Having clear lymph nodes and other good news along the way has certainly been an answer to prayer.

As I look to completing treatment, my biggest issue is trying to prepare myself not to live in fear. I do not want to worry about whether or not my cancer will come back. I want to live in the love of Christ, above the fear that Satan wants to use to keep me distracted. So I guess I will be shifting my focus from surviving to LIVING!

Going, Going, Gone

A couple of weeks ago my hair started shedding more, so I decided to be proactive and have my husband shave it off. I wasn't sure how this part of the journey would be. Since then, I have been pretty okay, since my wonderful husband says I look beautiful bald--he's the greatest! I have not bought a wig yet, and am sticking with hats. This has just been another humbling part of this journey.

On the upside: It will be fun to watch it grow back and try some new hairstyles I never would have tried before. The doctors have told me that hair often grows back different initially. So I might get to try curly, dark hair for awhile:)

Thought I would share a few pics of my transformation. It sure does cut down on getting ready--no hair drying or styling!

The Body of Christ

Over the past several weeks, I have begun chemotherapy. With this comes nausea and fatigue in varying degrees of severity. For me, this has meant several days of nausea where I don't feel like eating anything, as well as extreme fatigue. Being young and in pretty good shape has helped, I believe, as I have bounced back pretty well in between treatments, so far.

While no one chooses this road, I continue to be so blessed and learn so much along the way. One particularly powerful blessing has been seeing the Body of Christ in action. My family, friends, and church family have overwhelmed me and my family with calls, cards, notes, messages, meals, baby-sitting offers, gift cards, and PRAYERS. This outpouring of love and support has meant a great deal to our family. We see and feel the love of Christ reflected in so many around us. Until going through this trial, I never realized the power of the Body of Christ to encourage.

This picture of Christ's love made action has changed our family forever. It spurs us on to BE that love in action in the future. I can see more clearly my selfishness in the past, and am convicted to encourage those in need from this point forward. This blessing and lesson is another way God is redeeming this illness in my life.

New Definition

We define ourselves by so many things and in so many ways. Wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend are roles that come to mind. We define ourselves by our personality traits--funny, reflective, stubborn, organized. We label ourselves--athlete, artist, homemaker. All these roles, traits, and labels help us define who we are.

I have acquired a new label--breast cancer patient. In the coming months, I pray that will become breast cancer survivor. This past month has been packed with much prayer and reflection on how this new journey will impact my life and those around me. I will never be the same person I was before January 8th. I have a new urgency in life, a new perspective. What is worthy of my time, my talents, and my efforts? This new label that defines me will change forever my priorities, and for this I can be thankful. It is the first of many blessings that God will give me on this journey, I believe.

We are given such a short time on earth to reach others for the gospel of Christ. I do not want to waste my time with the things of this world. I want the definition of who I am to be hidden in Christ.

**Good news-Thursday I received the word that my lymph node biopsy was negative for malignancy!**

Going Pink-Updated

On January 8th, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. All indications are that it is in early stages, which is a blessing. I will be going through chemotherapy, surgery, and possibly radiation over the next months. I covet your prayers during this new journey. My prayer is to "consider it pure joy" during this trial, that God may be glorified through my weakness. I hope that I may then be able to minister to other women who experience this disease after my recovery.


"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:1-4)

**Tuesday Update**
I had surgery yesterday to put in the chemotherapy port and have a lymph node biopsy. I will get my first chemotherapy treatment on Wednesday the 28th. I am anxious to start killing some cancer cells! I hope to be back at the computer by Friday:) Thank you all for your words and encouragement and prayers!